Please, Hide or Collaborate - How do you interact with others?

Are you a “Pleaser?” Pleasers like to please others, at their own expense. They consider themselves unworthy and are fearful that people will not like them. In order to be liked, they please others.


Are you a “Hider?” Hiders have self-doubt and believe others are out to get them, so they hide and are silent. They feel powerless, victimized and resent those who are in the open.


Are you a “Collaborator?” Collaborators interact with others in a positive and constructive way. They are open to ideas of others, even when the ideas are different from their own.

How to Be an Emotionally Intelligent (and valued) Employee

What separates those employees that are the most successful from those that are less successful? One major difference is the ability to effectively communicate and collaborate with others. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the ability to effectively act, communicate, and collaborate based on your emotions and the emotions of others. Most of us are emotionally intelligent in some areas, and less so in others. Here is Part 1 of EQ skills.

More Emotionally Intelligent Employee Behavior	Less Emotionally Intelligent Employee Behavior
Be Present -Is fully present when talking with managers and coworkers talk. -Turns away from the computer and makes eye contact when spoken to. -Pays attention to what is said. Stays focused on the discussion.	-Is not usually present. -Stays on the computer or texting.  -Does not make eye contact when spoken to by coworkers or others. -Doesn’t usually pay close attention. -Gets distracted easily thinking about how to respond, instead of listening.
No Judgment -Listens without judging others. -Listens to understand. -Summarizes what was heard. -Asks follow-up questions for clarity.	-Tends to judge coworkers, usually unfavorably. -Jumps in with unhelpful judgments or comments before getting the full story. -Interrupts others.
Be Empathic and Compassionate -Shows empathy (i.e. you sound frustrated, sad, disappointed, angry). -Shows compassion (Sorry you are having a difficult time with the project).	-Rarely speaks to coworkers with empathy and compassion. -Does not recognize or relate to other’s emotions.
Welcome Constructive Feedback -Listens without getting defensive. -Hears constructive feedback, without going on the attack or getting defensive.  -Accepts responsibility for actions and words. -Welcomes constructive feedback as an opportunity to improve.	-Gets defensive when managers or coworkers state, or even infers, that he did something wrong. -Makes excuses and replies “didn’t intend to do it.” -Does not accept responsibility for actions. Needs to look good and be right.
Support Coworkers -Listens and is present when coworkers share their issues and concerns. -Looks for ways to support and help coworkers.	-When coworkers share their problems and concerns, offers little support or help.